I can promise we'll be home before the sun goes down.
[But he gives her the address of the dog park he usually goes to with Daidai. Because maybe he wants to meet the little corgi that she showed pictures of because CORGI.]
[ she recognizes that address. seems safe enough. ]
alright I'll be there in about an hour.
[ with Zwei in tow (but not on a leash because he's just good like that), Yin gets herself dressed in a hoodie and ragged jeans and hops on the next available bus. ]
Togusa is waiting on a bench by the entrance by the time Yin arrives. No uniform, no sign of the cop, he's here in civvies. Daisuke is leashed, but quietly pawing at an apparently very interesting pile of dirt by Togusa's feet. He is watching the pup, silently amused, until he spots Yin.
Both Togusa and Daisuke look up, Daisuke because of the possibility of a new friend. The amused look stays on Togusa's face, as he realizes something. "I believe, this is the first time we've met in person." So he offers a hand to be polite. "Hitori Togusa."
Yin doesn't go out of her way to meet up with new people, but having talked a couple of times on the app that they both have been blessed with access of gives him a leg up on most people in the city. When she is close enough it's much easier to see how particularly disheveled she looked. No makeup, messy hair tied back into a lazy ponytail (that's not exactly straight either), and dark circles all around her eyes — most from a lack of sleep, some color from faint bruises.
Basically, she looks like hell and it's a wonder she let herself be seen in person today. Not that she cared what anyone thought.
"Yeah." She agreed numbly. Zwei stopped by her side and gave her a look and a curious whine. Without looking down, Yin shrugged her shoulders. "Go for it, Zwei."
The corgi hopped forward to go greet his fellow canine. Yin drew her hands out of her hoodie pocket and extended her cyborg limb out to shake the man's hand. Rigid, cold steel may not be the most welcome touch but she has enough control over it to fool someone into thinking she was just wearing some kind of glove over her real hand with the precision of her finger curling.
Togusa is quite the opposite, preferring to meet people in person, and it's for the exact reason that he can see in Yin. He knows that everyone is having a hard time this month, but it's easier to hide over text or phone. Some sympathy goes out to her, but he won't let it change how he reacts to her.
He takes the metal hand, "Yin it is," he nods. He had known that she didn't prefer the name that Retrospec displayed for her, but the confirmation is nice. He sends an amused smile to the puppy, "And hello to you, too, Zwei."
Daisuke is completely perked up, ears up at the ready, and tail wagging slowly, all tight anticipation and excitement. New friend? His gait looks a little awkward when he trots forwards. The pup has a long-term problem with his front left paw, so it makes him look like he's always limping, even though he compensates well. He moves towards Zwei excitedly, but pauses a little away. He stretches out his nose and sniffs curiously a few times, before letting out a quiet 'boof?' Tail-wagging increases.
Togusa chuckles low. "He has got to be one of the most social dogs I've met, around people or other new dogs. Does a lot better when I get him out and seeing people."
But Togusa sends that smile up to Yin. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I'm just here as Hitori. Asking on behalf of a friend. So please," he looks at her seriously, "feel free to tell me to go to hell if I ask something that's none of my business. I won't get offended."
"He's cuter in person, that's for sure." The admission brings with it the faintest of smiles out of the woman before her attention is back on Togusa. Those two dogs will have no trouble hitting it off but that's just a distraction from the real cause for being here.
"Heh," Yin started with a smirk. "I've never had a problem telling anyone to fuck off. That's on record." She jerked her head toward him, chin up, and gaze passive. "Shoot."
Togusa holds up a hand and chuckles. "I've got to ask. Some of the toughest tough-guys out there get weird when it comes to telling me no. I'm still me off the clock."
He knows what he really wants to ask, so since Yin is keeping this no-nonsense, he will dive straight into it. He presses his lips together tightly, re-thinking his wording, before he talks.
"What are the things that people do that you wish they wouldn't? The stuff that they think is helpful, but it actually pisses you off, or it puts the emotional burden on you? I really don't want to fall into those mistakes around James." He shrugs lightly. "But I'm not sure what they would be."
Wow, okay, that was definitely on the borderline of an extremely personal question. More to the point, it was asking for advice with a sort of weight that Yin normally wouldn't be comfortable with. Lucky for Togusa, the answer was right on the tip of Yin's tongue so it cut right through any sort of the hesitation either of them expected.
"What pisses me off..." Yin furrows her brow and tightens her jaw a moment. "What I can't take is when people try to do things for me because they think I can't do it myself.
"That... That look they give me when they do it really seals the deal. You know the one. I've dealt with this shit for years, it's normal to me, and in two seconds they think they know be enough to judge my limits. Fuck that noise."
Yin grew more impassioned as she went on. It was easy enough to channel the feeling of the last time someone did that to her. With the arm people still do it, for different reasons. They think it can't handle the weight or pressure of what she tries to do. Right up until she lifts a fifty pound of dog food with it like it's nothing.
Togusa does not do much in half-measures, and he's a little sorry for being so blunt, but he also doesn't know how else to get this information. But when Yin answers, Togusa's eyebrows raise slightly, and there's a very self-aware look on his face. Oh. This was something he really needed to hear, because he can see himself doing precisely what Yin is describing. He manages to avoid looking away, even though he very much wants to, but he nods slowly. "Okay."
"Well. Then. Flip side of the question. What are the things that do help? Because," a sudden tension in his shoulders. "With James, just trying to carry on as normal is also going to drive him insane. Not acknowledging that something has changed is also diminishing what he's going through. But trying to compensate too much will frustrate him." Feeding into what Yin just said.
Smart man. If he'd flinched away then Yin would be convinced that he wasn't half as self-aware as people ought to be. Especially when they're discussing something like this.
Though that, too, brings a question to her mind. Just what exactly are they talking about?
Yin brought her hand back out and made a time-out gesture. "Whoa. Hang on a sec. Two things, buddy, before I say anything else."
One finger up. "What does James even have that you think is gonna bring him down?
"And two," one more finger and a shrug for good measure. "Who is James?"
Oh. Togusa blinks in surprise, "I thought everybody'd seen it."
A heavy sigh, and now he looks away, because he is trying to keep the cold anger about this entire mess from rising again. "James Barnes, 16. He posted on the network when it happened: woke up missing his left arm." A pause as he lets that hang in the air.
"No accident, no pain, no reason. Just Retrospec's garbage." Togusa's back teeth clench for a second. But then he relaxes, and he looks back at Yin. "He's got no memory of it, either. So this is all extra-senseless."
The words didn't just hang in the air, they engulfed it. The only thing that made sense was why Togusa would come to her of all people about this, especially on behalf of someone else.
Sadly, in the moment, Yin was lost deep in her own thoughts and memories without having any control over it. The shock was frozen on her face for several moments that, to her, stretched on for minutes. All she did was stare with unblinking eyes and her mouth slightly agape, until something bumped against the fingers of her left hand and the cool dampness pierced her senses to bring her back to reality.
She shook her head strongly and looked own at the very concerned corgi that put aside playing with a new friend to help his owner snap out of her daze.
"Zwei...?"
Woof.
"I — I'm good. Thanks, boy."
Woof!
As Zwei stayed close, she pushed past Togusa to get to the bench like he wasn't even there. "I need a minute."
Good dog. Best dog. Togusa feels very sorry for saying it so bluntly, but part of James' entire point has been that there is no softening this. Trying to pretend like nothing has changed is doing James a disservice. But maybe he should have been more considerate of Yin. He watches her sit, keeping a cautious eye on her.
Togusa will pointedly give her the time that she needs. He is the one asking her for help, it's enough of an imposition that he doesn't want to make it worse by pressing her for answers, even though they are the ones he needs.
It's only when she gives any sort of sign of returning to the present that Togusa apologizes. "I shouldn't have been that blunt about it, I'm sorry. He's open about it, but it's his way of taking some control over it."
As Togusa finds his words again, and his apologies, Yin searches her pockets for her vaporizer.
"Nah, it's ... fine." It wasn't fine. Yin takes a deep inhale from the device, blowing out a cloud of sickly sweet vapor — pumpkin spice scent? — before slouching in the seat. "I just didn't expect it."
Zwei sits against one of her legs, his presence a comfort to her even if the sudden withdrawal from playtime may have perplexed his new canine friend. Priorities and all.
"Fuck. You want to know what I think? I have no idea how he'll deal with it. I'm not in Amputees Anonymous or anything." The bitter tone was unnecessary but unavoidable. She put the palm of her hand to her forehead and just stared at the blue light coming from the end of her device, muttering. "There's always pain..."
It's not fine. That's been half of what Togusa has been trying to make evident to James, that it doesn't have to be fine. So, seeing another person and their own methods of minimizing and coping is- an experience.
And yet there are some similarities between her and James. The slight protective confrontational attitude, mellower in Yin than it is in James. Keep that extra step of emotional distance between you and the people around you. Togusa can understand it.
"Everybody's experience is different," Togusa admits. He shifts forwards, leans an elbow on his knee to get a better look over Yin. "Do people act like it's all over, for you, now? Just because," he nods at her arm, "you have a replacement?" Another mistake he'd like to avoid. Her life is still different. It doesn't take away the pain she's experiencing.
"My boss at the movie place thought so," she begins with a sneer before taking on a tone that was obviously meant to mimic an older, gruff sort of person. "'Does that mean you'll be wanting to take on more hours, more responsibility around here? Pull some more of your own weight?'"
She takes another puff. "I almost told him where he can put his extra weight, but as it turns out? He was joking. It was a joke that I could be put to work like anyone else. A joke that I was any less broken than I was months ago when I started wearing this every day.
"Not that I'm bitter about it." Yin says bitterly, with a bitter expression.
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10/17
If you'd rather talk in person, I can meet you somewhere with a puppy. Sometimes, Daisuke helps with tough conversations.
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I'm good either way as long as I don't have to go out in the dark
[ someone is NOT a fan of the fog. at all. ]
no subject
[But he gives her the address of the dog park he usually goes to with Daidai. Because maybe he wants to meet the little corgi that she showed pictures of because CORGI.]
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alright
I'll be there in about an hour.
[ with Zwei in tow (but not on a leash because he's just good like that), Yin gets herself dressed in a hoodie and ragged jeans and hops on the next available bus. ]
no subject
Both Togusa and Daisuke look up, Daisuke because of the possibility of a new friend. The amused look stays on Togusa's face, as he realizes something. "I believe, this is the first time we've met in person." So he offers a hand to be polite. "Hitori Togusa."
no subject
Basically, she looks like hell and it's a wonder she let herself be seen in person today. Not that she cared what anyone thought.
"Yeah." She agreed numbly. Zwei stopped by her side and gave her a look and a curious whine. Without looking down, Yin shrugged her shoulders. "Go for it, Zwei."
The corgi hopped forward to go greet his fellow canine. Yin drew her hands out of her hoodie pocket and extended her cyborg limb out to shake the man's hand. Rigid, cold steel may not be the most welcome touch but she has enough control over it to fool someone into thinking she was just wearing some kind of glove over her real hand with the precision of her finger curling.
"Ya — Yin. Call me Yin."
no subject
He takes the metal hand, "Yin it is," he nods. He had known that she didn't prefer the name that Retrospec displayed for her, but the confirmation is nice. He sends an amused smile to the puppy, "And hello to you, too, Zwei."
Daisuke is completely perked up, ears up at the ready, and tail wagging slowly, all tight anticipation and excitement. New friend? His gait looks a little awkward when he trots forwards. The pup has a long-term problem with his front left paw, so it makes him look like he's always limping, even though he compensates well. He moves towards Zwei excitedly, but pauses a little away. He stretches out his nose and sniffs curiously a few times, before letting out a quiet 'boof?' Tail-wagging increases.
Togusa chuckles low. "He has got to be one of the most social dogs I've met, around people or other new dogs. Does a lot better when I get him out and seeing people."
But Togusa sends that smile up to Yin. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I'm just here as Hitori. Asking on behalf of a friend. So please," he looks at her seriously, "feel free to tell me to go to hell if I ask something that's none of my business. I won't get offended."
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"Heh," Yin started with a smirk. "I've never had a problem telling anyone to fuck off. That's on record." She jerked her head toward him, chin up, and gaze passive. "Shoot."
no subject
He knows what he really wants to ask, so since Yin is keeping this no-nonsense, he will dive straight into it. He presses his lips together tightly, re-thinking his wording, before he talks.
"What are the things that people do that you wish they wouldn't? The stuff that they think is helpful, but it actually pisses you off, or it puts the emotional burden on you? I really don't want to fall into those mistakes around James." He shrugs lightly. "But I'm not sure what they would be."
no subject
"What pisses me off..." Yin furrows her brow and tightens her jaw a moment. "What I can't take is when people try to do things for me because they think I can't do it myself.
"That... That look they give me when they do it really seals the deal. You know the one. I've dealt with this shit for years, it's normal to me, and in two seconds they think they know be enough to judge my limits. Fuck that noise."
Yin grew more impassioned as she went on. It was easy enough to channel the feeling of the last time someone did that to her. With the arm people still do it, for different reasons. They think it can't handle the weight or pressure of what she tries to do. Right up until she lifts a fifty pound of dog food with it like it's nothing.
no subject
"Well. Then. Flip side of the question. What are the things that do help? Because," a sudden tension in his shoulders. "With James, just trying to carry on as normal is also going to drive him insane. Not acknowledging that something has changed is also diminishing what he's going through. But trying to compensate too much will frustrate him." Feeding into what Yin just said.
"who the hell is Bucky?"
Though that, too, brings a question to her mind. Just what exactly are they talking about?
Yin brought her hand back out and made a time-out gesture. "Whoa. Hang on a sec. Two things, buddy, before I say anything else."
One finger up. "What does James even have that you think is gonna bring him down?
"And two," one more finger and a shrug for good measure. "Who is James?"
AHAHAHAHA
A heavy sigh, and now he looks away, because he is trying to keep the cold anger about this entire mess from rising again. "James Barnes, 16. He posted on the network when it happened: woke up missing his left arm." A pause as he lets that hang in the air.
"No accident, no pain, no reason. Just Retrospec's garbage." Togusa's back teeth clench for a second. But then he relaxes, and he looks back at Yin. "He's got no memory of it, either. So this is all extra-senseless."
I just had to >.>
Sadly, in the moment, Yin was lost deep in her own thoughts and memories without having any control over it. The shock was frozen on her face for several moments that, to her, stretched on for minutes. All she did was stare with unblinking eyes and her mouth slightly agape, until something bumped against the fingers of her left hand and the cool dampness pierced her senses to bring her back to reality.
She shook her head strongly and looked own at the very concerned corgi that put aside playing with a new friend to help his owner snap out of her daze.
"Zwei...?"
Woof.
"I — I'm good. Thanks, boy."
Woof!
As Zwei stayed close, she pushed past Togusa to get to the bench like he wasn't even there. "I need a minute."
Re: I just had to >.>
Togusa will pointedly give her the time that she needs. He is the one asking her for help, it's enough of an imposition that he doesn't want to make it worse by pressing her for answers, even though they are the ones he needs.
It's only when she gives any sort of sign of returning to the present that Togusa apologizes. "I shouldn't have been that blunt about it, I'm sorry. He's open about it, but it's his way of taking some control over it."
no subject
"Nah, it's ... fine." It wasn't fine. Yin takes a deep inhale from the device, blowing out a cloud of sickly sweet vapor — pumpkin spice scent? — before slouching in the seat. "I just didn't expect it."
Zwei sits against one of her legs, his presence a comfort to her even if the sudden withdrawal from playtime may have perplexed his new canine friend. Priorities and all.
"Fuck. You want to know what I think? I have no idea how he'll deal with it. I'm not in Amputees Anonymous or anything." The bitter tone was unnecessary but unavoidable. She put the palm of her hand to her forehead and just stared at the blue light coming from the end of her device, muttering. "There's always pain..."
no subject
And yet there are some similarities between her and James. The slight protective confrontational attitude, mellower in Yin than it is in James. Keep that extra step of emotional distance between you and the people around you. Togusa can understand it.
"Everybody's experience is different," Togusa admits. He shifts forwards, leans an elbow on his knee to get a better look over Yin. "Do people act like it's all over, for you, now? Just because," he nods at her arm, "you have a replacement?" Another mistake he'd like to avoid. Her life is still different. It doesn't take away the pain she's experiencing.
no subject
"My boss at the movie place thought so," she begins with a sneer before taking on a tone that was obviously meant to mimic an older, gruff sort of person. "'Does that mean you'll be wanting to take on more hours, more responsibility around here? Pull some more of your own weight?'"
She takes another puff. "I almost told him where he can put his extra weight, but as it turns out? He was joking. It was a joke that I could be put to work like anyone else. A joke that I was any less broken than I was months ago when I started wearing this every day.
"Not that I'm bitter about it." Yin says bitterly, with a bitter expression.