[she lets the protest die. Jen knows what she's going to say anyway, probably, and Lina just exhales through her nose, not a full sigh but still depressed enough to get the point across.]
What I'm trying to say is that I need to remember that... it isn't like you don't have any problems just because you're rich. And if I try to act like your life is perfect then I'm being a total asshole.
[she looks down at Jen without trying to make it obvious. it's not what she meant, but if it helps Lina save face then she will absolutely take it. which means she can instead focus on trying to be... kind. encouraging.]
You're out with me, though. Whatever bullshit you have going on out there? You can always come home and be as gay as you need to be. That's a promise for as long as we're roommates.
[ Jen teased. at the question, though, she smiled. ] It was good fun! Sweaty, sunny, fun. I'm really sorry you couldn't make it out. I think you would have liked it until the point you melted.
[ she sticks her tongue out. ] I'm kidding, obviously. I did bring back some leftover drinks if you want them. They're in the cooler. [ couple of craft beers, some wine coolers, maybe a hard lemonade or two. some hard stuff if everyone didn't polish it all off. ]
Maybe. I burn, though. [especially under the sun in the middle of July.] Wouldn't have lasted very long before I hit that melting point.
[besides, taking that much time off work... not really in the cards. of course it's not. Big Bang Burger would fucking fall apart without her there. (it would do fine and she knows it.)]
I'll hit those up once I don't have to be on medical duty. Probably once you pass out. [or maybe she'll just stay in her room and berate herself some more for causing the problem in the first place!] But I'm glad it was good. I bet everyone you were with appreciated getting to see you in action.
[ Jen finished off the rest of the stew while Lina spoke, and then she leaned forward to put the bowl on the coffee table. ] Mm, see, that's why you should come to the beach with me sometime. Your body would get used to it.
[ as for the other part... she had a good chuckle about it. ] Satsuki can probably lift the camper without breaking a sweat, I'm sure Alison told you all about her adventures abroad, Kara can literally fly...
I'd say Natalia was the lucky one but sheeee didn't seem that interested in us. [ hint hint, nudge nudge. Jen may be exagerrating (because she can't say more la la la that hasn't happened yet). ]
[she lets uncertainty fill her face, but that it's uncertainty and not just straight-up rejection might be a good sign.] Maybe. I don't know. We'll see.
[however, she's. pretty interested in what Jen has to say about the others there. the only name she doesn't immediately recognize is Kara, but, like, big deal—talk more about Natalia.]
Really? Maybe I should've gone with you after all... [still not worth it, but.] Then again, I don't think she was very happy with me after I didn't give her an answer to some meaningless thing she asked. I guess she just likes being in control of things.
[ Jen raises a brow. ] What kind of question was it? ...if you don't mind me asking. I know I'm meddling a lot and you can stop me anytime but...
[ yeah, she was curious. also, she's pretty sure she mentioned Kara at least in passing when talking about the bike she had in the shop, but it's more likely she just said "Ellis Motorworks" and didn't draw the dotted line there. ]
[it's equally likely that Lina just wasn't paying attention. she's only recently been trying not to be a piece of human garbage, after all.]
I asked her what flower I was named after and she got it wrong, but I didn't tell her she got it wrong. [a smug look graces her face.] She thinks she's the only one allowed to be mysterious. It's not even a big secret or anything. I just wanted to lord something over her.
Uhhh was that... before, after, or while you were flirting with her? [ color Jen confused because generally speaking that wasn't something you wanted to do to someone you were into. ]
I can... kinda see that? [ no, she can't really. the doubt is obvious. Jen is even scratching her head, but in the end, just shrugs it off. ] I mean, even I couldn't guess the flower now that I think about it.
[Lina's bad at this and has a very complicated relationship with Natalia, is the gist of it. she thinks she understands what makes her tick, what interests her, and she's pretty sure she likes winning.]
Well, my full name's Carmelina, right? [ugh, she doesn't like the way that name feels. tastes.] She thought it was after the camelina—you know, that, uh... one sec.
[she pulls her phone from the pocket of her shorts and brings up a picture of camelina.]
This thing. You've seen it. But I'm actually named after this. [and she pulls the next tab up and shows Jen a picture of a commelina instead.] The commelina. Sounds the same. [in her accent, at least.] But they're two way different flowers.
[ Jen turns halfway to bring her leg up on the couch and drape her arm over the back. easier to see without Lina having to risk falling forward or anything. she watches intently as she's shown and nods. ]
Mm, yeah, way different. It sounds like an easy mistake but... I also don't know why you'd pick what looks like some kind of herb over that. [ she points at the phone, then looks up at Lina with a smirk. ] It's not the right shade, but the blue's so obvious.
[she pulls her phone back and reads over the article about camelina again, and... something jumps out at her that she hadn't noticed.]
This says the one with an A is also called "gold-of-pleasure". [and it's said with the tone of someone who's just, like, quietly surprised by a thing—until it hits her.] She was fucking flirting with me, wasn't she.
[this feels like it might be more of a conversation now, so she walks around the couch and sits down, still being sure to give Jen some space if she needs it.]
Are we about to have a bonding moment where we learn each other's backstories or something?
[ she tapered off that laugh quick, but still sounded lighthearted as Lina moved into place. ] I mean. It could be? It's ... not technically a secret about me, but it's not something I go around telling just anyone. Just a boring detail.
When I was born, my parents named me Jinjing. My family name was Longwei, but my mom changed it all after the divorce. [ does she sound at all resentful of that? not really. it's been so long and she's mostly come to terms with it that it was just so matter-of-fact. ] One day I got curious and I looked up name meanings. I don't know how much of those sites are, like, legit and how many of them just make stuff up to sound pretty. Like Mister Horoscope Boy I was out with at the time.
[she's still glad that Jen trusts her enough with this, even if it is largely meaningless in the grand scheme of things. and of course she remembers Horoscope Boy, and can only imagine what he tried to draw from it once she's done appreciating that real good burn. unfortunately, if she's supposed to catch any meaning behind those names, well, her "expertise" is in Japanese culture. so she's got nothing.]
Well. "Jinjing" is supposed to mean "gold mirror" and it's an "elegant girl's name". [ air quote gesture, eyeroll, and all. ] Longwei as a surname is something like "dragon greatness" or "great dragon". I forget.
[ she gestures at her own head. ] You can guess why my dad wanted me to have it.
[Lina's already rolling her eyes at the part about elegance, before the stuff with dragon greatness even comes up. if she could literally take them out of her face and swirl them around David Bowie-style, that's how extreme of an eyeroll she's talking once the full explanation hits.]
Ugh. You can't name a kid just hoping they'll stay exactly the way you want them to for their entire life.
[for all she herself knows, Lina was named after camelina. or maybe she wasn't named after anything. maybe it's just a name and she's always looked at it too deeply, seeing Rose and Clover and the other Geteilts and trying to backfill her own name to fit. but she's decided that this is going to be part of her story, and she respects Jen for making her name part of her own story. it's a weird thing to respect her for, but. here she is.]
[ her own anecdote didn't have that intent behind it. ] Haha, you really think so? It's so, I don't know ... plain! [ she means "white"; which is true for her mother's motivation, but also rude to just say out loud. ] So what if no one could ever pronounce it right in the first place.
Meanwhile, I want to say something about "Lina" just being really easy to remember and short to call out, but you're also the first of three I know on the app. [ a smirk. ] Guess we'll just have to be unique in some other ways.
[sorry, Jen, but Lina's kind of dramatic sometimes. which she's sure Jen has never once noticed. at least she's keeping her tone casual.]
I know my name is kind of common, but could you imagine me going by Carmelina like it's an everyday thing? God, I can feel myself getting nerdier just thinking about it. [she doesn't need help with that.] At least we're both really good at being unique. I don't know anybody in the city like you.
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[she lets the protest die. Jen knows what she's going to say anyway, probably, and Lina just exhales through her nose, not a full sigh but still depressed enough to get the point across.]
What I'm trying to say is that I need to remember that... it isn't like you don't have any problems just because you're rich. And if I try to act like your life is perfect then I'm being a total asshole.
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[she looks down at Jen without trying to make it obvious. it's not what she meant, but if it helps Lina save face then she will absolutely take it. which means she can instead focus on trying to be... kind. encouraging.]
You're out with me, though. Whatever bullshit you have going on out there? You can always come home and be as gay as you need to be. That's a promise for as long as we're roommates.
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[ look, Lina. it made her smile a little. be proud of that. don't pay attention to the poor attempt at imitation though. ]
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Less useless than me. I mean, come on, you just went out and did things with people. Which I just realized I never asked you about. How'd it all go?
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[ Jen teased. at the question, though, she smiled. ] It was good fun! Sweaty, sunny, fun. I'm really sorry you couldn't make it out. I think you would have liked it until the point you melted.
[ she sticks her tongue out. ] I'm kidding, obviously. I did bring back some leftover drinks if you want them. They're in the cooler. [ couple of craft beers, some wine coolers, maybe a hard lemonade or two. some hard stuff if everyone didn't polish it all off. ]
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[besides, taking that much time off work... not really in the cards. of course it's not. Big Bang Burger would fucking fall apart without her there. (it would do fine and she knows it.)]
I'll hit those up once I don't have to be on medical duty. Probably once you pass out. [or maybe she'll just stay in her room and berate herself some more for causing the problem in the first place!] But I'm glad it was good. I bet everyone you were with appreciated getting to see you in action.
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[ as for the other part... she had a good chuckle about it. ] Satsuki can probably lift the camper without breaking a sweat, I'm sure Alison told you all about her adventures abroad, Kara can literally fly...
I'd say Natalia was the lucky one but sheeee didn't seem that interested in us. [ hint hint, nudge nudge. Jen may be exagerrating (because she can't say more la la la that hasn't happened yet). ]
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[however, she's. pretty interested in what Jen has to say about the others there. the only name she doesn't immediately recognize is Kara, but, like, big deal—talk more about Natalia.]
Really? Maybe I should've gone with you after all... [still not worth it, but.] Then again, I don't think she was very happy with me after I didn't give her an answer to some meaningless thing she asked. I guess she just likes being in control of things.
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[ yeah, she was curious. also, she's pretty sure she mentioned Kara at least in passing when talking about the bike she had in the shop, but it's more likely she just said "Ellis Motorworks" and didn't draw the dotted line there. ]
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I asked her what flower I was named after and she got it wrong, but I didn't tell her she got it wrong. [a smug look graces her face.] She thinks she's the only one allowed to be mysterious. It's not even a big secret or anything. I just wanted to lord something over her.
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[she's extremely terrible at telling that, though. which should not remotely be a surprise.]
Even if she was, maybe I wanted to feel like I knew more than her about something for once.
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Well, my full name's Carmelina, right? [ugh, she doesn't like the way that name feels. tastes.] She thought it was after the camelina—you know, that, uh... one sec.
[she pulls her phone from the pocket of her shorts and brings up a picture of camelina.]
This thing. You've seen it. But I'm actually named after this. [and she pulls the next tab up and shows Jen a picture of a commelina instead.] The commelina. Sounds the same. [in her accent, at least.] But they're two way different flowers.
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Mm, yeah, way different. It sounds like an easy mistake but... I also don't know why you'd pick what looks like some kind of herb over that. [ she points at the phone, then looks up at Lina with a smirk. ] It's not the right shade, but the blue's so obvious.
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[she pulls her phone back and reads over the article about camelina again, and... something jumps out at her that she hadn't noticed.]
This says the one with an A is also called "gold-of-pleasure". [and it's said with the tone of someone who's just, like, quietly surprised by a thing—until it hits her.] She was fucking flirting with me, wasn't she.
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What's in a name, though, right? Jen's not even the one I was born with you know.
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[this feels like it might be more of a conversation now, so she walks around the couch and sits down, still being sure to give Jen some space if she needs it.]
Are we about to have a bonding moment where we learn each other's backstories or something?
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When I was born, my parents named me Jinjing. My family name was Longwei, but my mom changed it all after the divorce. [ does she sound at all resentful of that? not really. it's been so long and she's mostly come to terms with it that it was just so matter-of-fact. ] One day I got curious and I looked up name meanings. I don't know how much of those sites are, like, legit and how many of them just make stuff up to sound pretty. Like Mister Horoscope Boy I was out with at the time.
[ remember him? ]
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[she's still glad that Jen trusts her enough with this, even if it is largely meaningless in the grand scheme of things. and of course she remembers Horoscope Boy, and can only imagine what he tried to draw from it once she's done appreciating that real good burn. unfortunately, if she's supposed to catch any meaning behind those names, well, her "expertise" is in Japanese culture. so she's got nothing.]
So what was so bad about it?
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Well. "Jinjing" is supposed to mean "gold mirror" and it's an "elegant girl's name". [ air quote gesture, eyeroll, and all. ] Longwei as a surname is something like "dragon greatness" or "great dragon". I forget.
[ she gestures at her own head. ] You can guess why my dad wanted me to have it.
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Ugh. You can't name a kid just hoping they'll stay exactly the way you want them to for their entire life.
[for all she herself knows, Lina was named after camelina. or maybe she wasn't named after anything. maybe it's just a name and she's always looked at it too deeply, seeing Rose and Clover and the other Geteilts and trying to backfill her own name to fit. but she's decided that this is going to be part of her story, and she respects Jen for making her name part of her own story. it's a weird thing to respect her for, but. here she is.]
Jen's a better name.
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Meanwhile, I want to say something about "Lina" just being really easy to remember and short to call out, but you're also the first of three I know on the app. [ a smirk. ] Guess we'll just have to be unique in some other ways.
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[sorry, Jen, but Lina's kind of dramatic sometimes. which she's sure Jen has never once noticed. at least she's keeping her tone casual.]
I know my name is kind of common, but could you imagine me going by Carmelina like it's an everyday thing? God, I can feel myself getting nerdier just thinking about it. [she doesn't need help with that.] At least we're both really good at being unique. I don't know anybody in the city like you.
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